Bob Luedeman Humor Columnist
May 12, 2009

Barking dogs

Does any one know how and why a dog barks? I don’t know how, but I know why. Inside of every dog’s brain, depending on its DNA, is a complete set of visual images.

Let’s say a dog is looking out of a window, and a strange man appears. It matches the image of a man in its brain, which triggers the automatic bark system, which stays engaged until the image disappears. The dog cannot override this system, but some owners will go to great lengths to train their dog not to bark.

The trained dog never really stops barking, but instead will stifle its bark, much like a person stifling a sneeze. This is dangerous for the dog because a buildup of stifled barks can cause the dog to explode. A woman in Chicago was seriously injured in a dog show when her Great Dane exploded, knocking her down and blowing the wig off a judge.

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